Ways to Give Advice Without Judging

Are you someone who loves to give advice but often finds yourself being judgmental? Do you want to help others without making them feel bad about themselves? If so, then you've come to the right place! In this article, we'll explore some ways to give advice without judging.

Why Is It Important to Give Advice Without Judging?

Before we dive into the ways to give advice without judging, let's first understand why it's important. When you judge someone, you're essentially telling them that they're wrong or bad. This can make them feel defensive and less likely to listen to your advice. On the other hand, when you give advice without judging, you're showing them that you care about their well-being and want to help them improve.

1. Use Empathy

One of the best ways to give advice without judging is to use empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. When you use empathy, you're putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective. This can help you understand why they're doing what they're doing and give advice that's more compassionate and understanding.

For example, let's say your friend is struggling with addiction. Instead of judging them for their behavior, try to understand why they're turning to drugs or alcohol. Maybe they're dealing with a lot of stress or trauma and don't know how to cope. By showing empathy and understanding, you can offer advice that's more helpful and supportive.

2. Focus on Behavior, Not the Person

Another way to give advice without judging is to focus on the behavior, not the person. When you criticize someone's character or personality, it can make them feel attacked and defensive. Instead, focus on the specific behavior that you want to address.

For example, let's say your coworker is always interrupting you during meetings. Instead of saying, "You're so rude and disrespectful," try saying, "I've noticed that you interrupt me a lot during meetings. It can be hard for me to get my point across when that happens. Can we work on giving each other space to speak?"

By focusing on the behavior, you're not attacking their character or personality. You're simply addressing a specific issue and offering a solution.

3. Ask Questions

Asking questions is another great way to give advice without judging. When you ask questions, you're encouraging the other person to think about their behavior and come up with their own solutions. This can be more effective than simply telling them what to do.

For example, let's say your friend is in a toxic relationship. Instead of saying, "You need to break up with them," try asking questions like, "How do you feel when you're with them?" or "Do you think this relationship is making you happy?" By asking these questions, you're helping your friend reflect on their own feelings and come to their own conclusions.

4. Offer Support

When you give advice without judging, it's important to offer support as well. Let the other person know that you're there for them and that you want to help them succeed. This can make them feel more comfortable and open to your advice.

For example, let's say your sibling is struggling with their mental health. Instead of judging them for their behavior, offer to help them find a therapist or support group. Let them know that you're there to listen and support them through their journey.

5. Use "I" Statements

Finally, using "I" statements can be a helpful way to give advice without judging. When you use "I" statements, you're expressing your own feelings and experiences instead of attacking the other person.

For example, let's say your partner is always late to events. Instead of saying, "You're so irresponsible," try saying, "I feel frustrated when you're late because it makes me feel like my time isn't important to you." By using "I" statements, you're expressing your own feelings without attacking the other person.


Giving advice without judging can be challenging, but it's an important skill to have. By using empathy, focusing on behavior, asking questions, offering support, and using "I" statements, you can give advice that's helpful and compassionate. Remember, the goal is to help the other person improve, not to make them feel bad about themselves. With these tips, you can become a better advice-giver and a more supportive friend, family member, or coworker.

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